These are from Bobby's first season on SNL:
Enjoy!
Showing posts with label Images 08. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Images 08. Show all posts
Sunday, December 27, 2009
Bobby Moynihan - dancing with Anne Hathaway (photos)
The skit was aired on 10.04.2008
These are from Bobby's first season on SNL:
Enjoy!
These are from Bobby's first season on SNL:
Enjoy!
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Bobby Moynihan - in The Stepfathers (blast to the past)
So the Stepfathers was one of the improv groups Bobby was in before SNL came knocking. This is from January 2008, so this is a good 8 months before Bobby started on SNL.
THE STEPFATHERS
Bobby Moynihan, Zach Woods, Christina Gausas, Michael Delaney, and Chris Gethard
The Stepfathers
Some of the smartest & finest improv comics in NYC—Michael Delaney, Christina Gausas,
Chris Gethard, Will Hines, Bobby Moynihan, Shannon O'Neill, Silvija Ozols,
and Zach Woods—make up a series of scenes from a one-word audience suggestion.
With art and grace, these star talents will make you laugh—a lot.
9:30 pm at UCBT, 307 West 26th Street (off 8th Avenue); tickets are $8
From:
http://hyreviews.com/Comedy_on_January_28_2008.htm
=====================
Join seven of New York's top longform improvisors as they get together to take you on a tour of everything that's both cute and brutal.
This supergroup of improv veterans includes Michael Delaney (The Swarm), Chris Gethard (Arsenal, Darryl Strawberry's One Man Show), Will Hines (1985), Bobby Moynihan (Buffoons, The Shoves), Shannon O'Neill (fwand), Silvija Ozols (Creep, Rogue Elephant), Andrew Secunda (The Swarm), and Zach Woods (The Shoves).
From:
http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/717
=====================
Enjoy!
THE STEPFATHERS
Bobby Moynihan, Zach Woods, Christina Gausas, Michael Delaney, and Chris Gethard
The Stepfathers
Some of the smartest & finest improv comics in NYC—Michael Delaney, Christina Gausas,
Chris Gethard, Will Hines, Bobby Moynihan, Shannon O'Neill, Silvija Ozols,
and Zach Woods—make up a series of scenes from a one-word audience suggestion.
With art and grace, these star talents will make you laugh—a lot.
9:30 pm at UCBT, 307 West 26th Street (off 8th Avenue); tickets are $8
From:
http://hyreviews.com/Comedy_on_January_28_2008.htm
=====================
Join seven of New York's top longform improvisors as they get together to take you on a tour of everything that's both cute and brutal.
This supergroup of improv veterans includes Michael Delaney (The Swarm), Chris Gethard (Arsenal, Darryl Strawberry's One Man Show), Will Hines (1985), Bobby Moynihan (Buffoons, The Shoves), Shannon O'Neill (fwand), Silvija Ozols (Creep, Rogue Elephant), Andrew Secunda (The Swarm), and Zach Woods (The Shoves).
From:
http://newyork.ucbtheatre.com/shows/717
=====================
Enjoy!
Monday, March 16, 2009
Saturday, February 28, 2009
Bobby Moynihan - Mystery Team movie
I seriously hope this movie finds a buyer! I can't express how much I want to see it!
Bobby's also performed a couple times in an off-Broadway show called Celebrity Autobiography, where real excerpts from celebrity penned biographies are read aloud and acted out. It sounds cute, so if you're anywhere in the vicinity of New York you should look up the info and check it out!
From:
http://community.livejournal.com/moynihan_fan/6557.html
Check out the Live Journal Community! Rock on Bobby fans!
Enjoy!
====================================================
Derrick Comedy’s ‘Mystery Team’ Seeks Comedy in Dark (and Long-Winded) Places
To say I struggled with the best way to word the title of this post would be a grave understatement. Rather than spend more time coming up with a better headline, though, I figured it’d be better to write a halfway decent post, watch Friday Night Lights, and call it a night. ANYWAY.
A few weeks ago I had the misfortune/privilege of watching the latest offering from the infamous viral video collective known as Derrick Comedy. Their newest attempt at hyper-offensive content is a painfully long, look-at-what-we-can-do feature length film entitled Mystery Team. Peep the trailer below:
The title and plot are harmless enough: a group of childhood friends take on the task of solving a murder mystery in a town that has condemned them as juveniles for years. But where Derrick and Co. excel is in the ebb and flow of the comedic timing that exists in between the relatively simple story arc. Take, for example, a scene in which the team finds themselves in a gentleman’s club: pure comedic brilliance in a relatively unoriginal, stereotypical setting. The cameos in the film, recognizable from many of their shorts, also enhance the experience, particularly their friend who works at the grocery store, played by the hilarious Bobby Moynihan. But while there are plenty of laugh out loud (LOL) moments to be found throughout the film, it ends feeling like an exercise in patience testing.
With Mystery Team, the YouTube stars and College Humor stalwarts seem to be trying too hard. Whereas the film fires on all cylinders for the first, say, half of the movie, with each progressing minute afterward it gasps for more laughs and relevant plot points (and camera cuts). The question is whether the team (famous for delivering pithy, side-stitching shorts on the internet) felt they had something to prove by making the movie an hour too long or if they simply skipped all their editing classes while attending NYU.
I had the pleasure of seeing the group perform live in Syracuse, NY back when they went by the name of the Wicked Wicked Hammerkatz and I still haven’t forgotten the ingenious sketches they performed. They were clearly on to something, which is why I wasn’t surprised to see their videos popping up on YouTube, eventually boasting over 10 million views per video. While Mystery Team is very much in the same delightfully offensive vein as their online content, it sputters to a standstill by the end making you wonder why they didn’t cut it down. Someone mentioned to me that the Sundance cut of the film was much shorter, so it’s possible they are still planning to work on it. They have so much potential, and maybe next time they’ll remember that writing 140 pages worth of script doesn’t equate to actually having 140 pages worth watching. Either way, Mystery Team is an excellent effort: hilarious and well shot despite its sleep-inducing 3rd Act.
From:
http://liftingfogblog.com/2009/02/16/derrick-comedys-mystery-team-seeks-comedy-in-dark-and-long-winded-places/
EnjoY!
Tuesday, December 23, 2008
Bobby Moynihan Featured in USA Today
Meet these 'SNL' up-and-comers
By Gary Strauss, USA TODAY
Saturday Night Live captured some of its biggest audiences in nearly
a quarter of a century when it focused on the gaffes and foibles of
the 2008 presidential and vice presidential candidates.
But former cast member Tina Fey's memorable spoofs of vice
presidential candidate Sarah Palin are over, as is the seven-year
run of multitalented cast member and new mom Amy Poehler.
And mining Obamaland for comedy probably will wait until after
Barack Obama takes office in January.
So now what?
"We had a great run. We had the feeling we were at the center of
things," says executive producer Lorne Michaels. "How do you follow
that? You don't. There's still an enormous amount of interest
(in politics). But you go week to week, and see what happens."
For the season's 14 remaining fresh episodes, that includes
incorporating three new SNL cast members — and possibly one or two
more players to be named later — into the 90-minute skit show.
"The staying power has always been the cast and the writing. We're
just in a rebuilding period," Michaels says. "I believe this cast is
confident and good, but we can definitely add another woman and guy
in the spring."
Abby Elliott, 21
•Comedic pedigree: Daughter of former SNL cast member Chris Elliott;
granddaughter of Bob Elliott (of Bob & Ray fame). She trained with
The Groundlings theater group and is a member of improv/sketch company
Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, co-founded by Poehler. Provided
voice-overs for Fox's animated King of the Hill.
• Says Michaels: "She was in the last set of auditions. The fear was that
she might be too young. But so was Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy.
She did some really nice impressions, and her sense of humor was
clearly there."
Bobby Moynihan, 31
•Comedic pedigree: The John Belushi look-alike joined earlier
in SNL's 34th season. He's another member of the
Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and a member of former
SNLer Horatio Sanz's King of Improv tour. He has been on
NBC's Late Night With Conan O'Brien and appears in
2009 movies When in Rome, This Side of the Truth
and Mystery Team.
•Says Michaels: "I think he's the real thing. I looked at
him last year. This year (during auditions), he knocked it
out of the park. He has incredible poise and confidence."
Michaela Watkins, 36
•Comedic pedigree: Member of The Groundlings comedy troupe;
former regional theater actor after graduating from Boston
University. She has appeared in several TV shows, including CBS
sitcom The New Adventures of Old Christine and Showtime's
Californication. Upcoming role in 2009 theatrical release
The Prankster.
•Says Michaels: "She has a very nice precision, and there's real
intelligence to her comedy. She did some smart, evolved
characters for her audition."
From:
http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/news/2008-11-20-snl-up-and-comers_N.htm
Enjoy!
By Gary Strauss, USA TODAY
Saturday Night Live captured some of its biggest audiences in nearly
a quarter of a century when it focused on the gaffes and foibles of
the 2008 presidential and vice presidential candidates.
But former cast member Tina Fey's memorable spoofs of vice
presidential candidate Sarah Palin are over, as is the seven-year
run of multitalented cast member and new mom Amy Poehler.
And mining Obamaland for comedy probably will wait until after
Barack Obama takes office in January.
So now what?
"We had a great run. We had the feeling we were at the center of
things," says executive producer Lorne Michaels. "How do you follow
that? You don't. There's still an enormous amount of interest
(in politics). But you go week to week, and see what happens."
For the season's 14 remaining fresh episodes, that includes
incorporating three new SNL cast members — and possibly one or two
more players to be named later — into the 90-minute skit show.
"The staying power has always been the cast and the writing. We're
just in a rebuilding period," Michaels says. "I believe this cast is
confident and good, but we can definitely add another woman and guy
in the spring."
Abby Elliott, 21
•Comedic pedigree: Daughter of former SNL cast member Chris Elliott;
granddaughter of Bob Elliott (of Bob & Ray fame). She trained with
The Groundlings theater group and is a member of improv/sketch company
Upright Citizens Brigade Theater, co-founded by Poehler. Provided
voice-overs for Fox's animated King of the Hill.
• Says Michaels: "She was in the last set of auditions. The fear was that
she might be too young. But so was Dan Aykroyd and Eddie Murphy.
She did some really nice impressions, and her sense of humor was
clearly there."
Bobby Moynihan, 31
•Comedic pedigree: The John Belushi look-alike joined earlier
in SNL's 34th season. He's another member of the
Upright Citizens Brigade Theater and a member of former
SNLer Horatio Sanz's King of Improv tour. He has been on
NBC's Late Night With Conan O'Brien and appears in
2009 movies When in Rome, This Side of the Truth
and Mystery Team.
•Says Michaels: "I think he's the real thing. I looked at
him last year. This year (during auditions), he knocked it
out of the park. He has incredible poise and confidence."
Michaela Watkins, 36
•Comedic pedigree: Member of The Groundlings comedy troupe;
former regional theater actor after graduating from Boston
University. She has appeared in several TV shows, including CBS
sitcom The New Adventures of Old Christine and Showtime's
Californication. Upcoming role in 2009 theatrical release
The Prankster.
•Says Michaels: "She has a very nice precision, and there's real
intelligence to her comedy. She did some smart, evolved
characters for her audition."
From:
http://www.usatoday.com/life/television/news/2008-11-20-snl-up-and-comers_N.htm
Enjoy!
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Bobby Moynihan - Is a baffoon (Buffoons on Low Country Live!)
Buffoons on Low Country Live!
The Buffoons made an appearance on a South Carolina morning show and this is what happened.
Is this funny to anyone?
Starring
Bobby Moynihan
Eugene Cordero
The Buffoons made an appearance on a South Carolina morning show and this is what happened.
Is this funny to anyone?
Starring
Bobby Moynihan
Eugene Cordero
Thursday, October 9, 2008
Bobby Moynihan - Is Professor Davenport in OJ Simpson Trial (Transcript)
Episode: James Franco / Kings of Leon
Bobby's first season, episode 2.
O.J. Simpson Jury Selection
Judge Jackie Glass.....Casey Wilson
O.J. Simpson.....Kenan Thompson
Gabriel Grasso.....Bill Hader
Juror #1.....Will Forte
Juror #2.....James Franco
Juror #3.....Fred Armisen
Juror #4.....Kristen Wiig
Professor Davenport.....Bobby Moynihan
Juror $5.....Andy Samberg
Juror #6.....Jason Sudeikis
Here's the transcript...
[ open on exterior, courthouse ]
[ SUPER: "Jury Selection, O.J. Simpson Robbery Trial, September 12, 2008" ]
[ sound effect: gavel banging ]
[ dissolve to interior, courtroom ]
Judge Jackie Glass: Now, Counselor! It -- it wasn't easy, but after a three-month search and thousands of interviews, we were finally able to collect twelve unbiased jurors. These men and women have NO knowledge of O.J. Simpson or the past events of his life.
Gabriel Grasso: Your Honor, I find that hard to believe. I'd like to question these potential jurors one last time.
[ O.J. pats him on the back as he rises ]
Judge Jackie Glass: Very well, Counselor.
Gabriel Grasso: Juror #1: how is it possible that you've "never" heard of O.J. Simpson?
Juror #1: Well, as I explained... I just awoke from a 22-year coma, and... was driven directly from the hospital to this courthouse.
Gabriel Grasso: [ smiles ] Very well! He's acceptable, Your Honor. [ she nods ]
Juror #1: Is there any way I can see my family?
Gabriel Grasso: After the trial. Juror #2: please state your name.
Juror #2: Uhhh... I can't remember... they told me I was in an accident...
Gabriel Grasso: Do you remember anything?
Juror #2: Yeah. I remember thinking... "Hey, it's hot out here... I'd better take off this hardhat to cool off..." And then there was a whooshing sound... like a box of wrenches falling through the air. Then, blackness... and when I woke up I was in this jury box.
Gabriel Grasso: So, you have no knowledge of O.J. Simpson?
Juror #2: [ alarmed ] Oh, my God!! Am I O.J. Simpson?!! Am I that horrible murderer?!!
Gabriel Grasso: Your Honor!!
Judge Jackie Glass: Juror #2, you're dismissed!
Juror #2: Seriously, though: AM I?!!!
Gabriel Grasso: [ annoyed ] NO! Juror #3: it says here that you were locked inside a bomb shelter from 1967 until this morning.
Juror #3: [ still dressed in 1967-era fashions ] That's correct.
Gabriel Grasso: Great! Now... have you ever heard of O.J. Simpson?
Juror #3: O.J. Simpson... wait! Yes, isn't he that running back from USC who won the Heisman Trophy?
[ O.J. waves a thumbs-up ]
Gabriel Grasso: He sure is!
Juror #3: [ cheerfully ] And he murdered that lady, right?
[ O.J. shrugs disappointedly ]
Gabriel Grasso: Come on!!! I thought you were in a bomb shelter?!
Juror #3: Well, yeah, but he's O.J.!
Judge Jackie Glass: Dismissed!
Gabriel Grasso: Alright. Juror #4?
[a woman with wild, frizzy hair responds by making weird grunting noises ]
Gabriel Grasso: [ confused ] Your Honor...?
[ a man seated behind Juror #4 rises. He brandishes a pipe in one hand. ]
Professor Davenport: Perhaps I can explain. My name is Professor Davenport, and I just discovered this woman in the Arctic tundra. She was raised by wolves and has no knowledge of human language or culture.
Gabriel Grasso: [ he smiles ] Excellent!
[ Juror #4 barks ferociously ]
Gabriel Grasso: Wait... what does that barking mean?
Professor Davenport: It means she smells a murderer.
O.J. Simpson: Ohhhh, man!
Judge Jackie Glass: Dismissed.
Gabriel Grasso: Juror #5, uh, where are you from, originally?
Juror #5: [ a space alien ] Zorbanos. It's a gaseous planet near the Hexadron Galaxy.
Gabriel Grasso: Have you ever visited Earth before?
Juror #5: No.
Gabriel Grasso: So, twenty minutes ago, you landed on the steps of this courthouse, and you entered the building without speaking to anyone?
Juror #5: Yes.
Gabriel Grasso: Perfect! Now, out of curiosity, why did you come to Earth?
Juror #5: I was sent here to stop O.J. Simpson from murdering those people. I'm not too late, am I?
Gabriel Grasso: Your Honor!
[ the man seated next to him, with long white hair, turns to face him ]
Juror #6: Hey, Space Dude, you're WAY too late! He did it, like, TEN years ago!
Gabriel Grasso: Hey! I -- I thought you were stranded on a desert island?
Juror #6: I was! But this book washed up on shore. [ he holds up a copy of "If I Did It" ]
O.J. Simpson: [ chuckling ] Hey, man! That's my book: "I Did It"!
Juror #6: [ looks at the cover ] Don't you mean, "IF I Did It"?
O.J. Simpson: Yeahhh, something like that.
Judge Jackie Glass: Alright, Counselor. We're adjourned. We'll try this again tomorrow.
[ she slams her gavel and closes the session ]
[ fade ]
From:
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/08/08boj.phtml
Enjoy!
Bobby's first season, episode 2.
O.J. Simpson Jury Selection
Judge Jackie Glass.....Casey Wilson
O.J. Simpson.....Kenan Thompson
Gabriel Grasso.....Bill Hader
Juror #1.....Will Forte
Juror #2.....James Franco
Juror #3.....Fred Armisen
Juror #4.....Kristen Wiig
Professor Davenport.....Bobby Moynihan
Juror $5.....Andy Samberg
Juror #6.....Jason Sudeikis
Here's the transcript...
[ open on exterior, courthouse ]
[ SUPER: "Jury Selection, O.J. Simpson Robbery Trial, September 12, 2008" ]
[ sound effect: gavel banging ]
[ dissolve to interior, courtroom ]
Judge Jackie Glass: Now, Counselor! It -- it wasn't easy, but after a three-month search and thousands of interviews, we were finally able to collect twelve unbiased jurors. These men and women have NO knowledge of O.J. Simpson or the past events of his life.
Gabriel Grasso: Your Honor, I find that hard to believe. I'd like to question these potential jurors one last time.
[ O.J. pats him on the back as he rises ]
Judge Jackie Glass: Very well, Counselor.
Gabriel Grasso: Juror #1: how is it possible that you've "never" heard of O.J. Simpson?
Juror #1: Well, as I explained... I just awoke from a 22-year coma, and... was driven directly from the hospital to this courthouse.
Gabriel Grasso: [ smiles ] Very well! He's acceptable, Your Honor. [ she nods ]
Juror #1: Is there any way I can see my family?
Gabriel Grasso: After the trial. Juror #2: please state your name.
Juror #2: Uhhh... I can't remember... they told me I was in an accident...
Gabriel Grasso: Do you remember anything?
Juror #2: Yeah. I remember thinking... "Hey, it's hot out here... I'd better take off this hardhat to cool off..." And then there was a whooshing sound... like a box of wrenches falling through the air. Then, blackness... and when I woke up I was in this jury box.
Gabriel Grasso: So, you have no knowledge of O.J. Simpson?
Juror #2: [ alarmed ] Oh, my God!! Am I O.J. Simpson?!! Am I that horrible murderer?!!
Gabriel Grasso: Your Honor!!
Judge Jackie Glass: Juror #2, you're dismissed!
Juror #2: Seriously, though: AM I?!!!
Gabriel Grasso: [ annoyed ] NO! Juror #3: it says here that you were locked inside a bomb shelter from 1967 until this morning.
Juror #3: [ still dressed in 1967-era fashions ] That's correct.
Gabriel Grasso: Great! Now... have you ever heard of O.J. Simpson?
Juror #3: O.J. Simpson... wait! Yes, isn't he that running back from USC who won the Heisman Trophy?
[ O.J. waves a thumbs-up ]
Gabriel Grasso: He sure is!
Juror #3: [ cheerfully ] And he murdered that lady, right?
[ O.J. shrugs disappointedly ]
Gabriel Grasso: Come on!!! I thought you were in a bomb shelter?!
Juror #3: Well, yeah, but he's O.J.!
Judge Jackie Glass: Dismissed!
Gabriel Grasso: Alright. Juror #4?
[a woman with wild, frizzy hair responds by making weird grunting noises ]
Gabriel Grasso: [ confused ] Your Honor...?
[ a man seated behind Juror #4 rises. He brandishes a pipe in one hand. ]
Professor Davenport: Perhaps I can explain. My name is Professor Davenport, and I just discovered this woman in the Arctic tundra. She was raised by wolves and has no knowledge of human language or culture.
Gabriel Grasso: [ he smiles ] Excellent!
[ Juror #4 barks ferociously ]
Gabriel Grasso: Wait... what does that barking mean?
Professor Davenport: It means she smells a murderer.
O.J. Simpson: Ohhhh, man!
Judge Jackie Glass: Dismissed.
Gabriel Grasso: Juror #5, uh, where are you from, originally?
Juror #5: [ a space alien ] Zorbanos. It's a gaseous planet near the Hexadron Galaxy.
Gabriel Grasso: Have you ever visited Earth before?
Juror #5: No.
Gabriel Grasso: So, twenty minutes ago, you landed on the steps of this courthouse, and you entered the building without speaking to anyone?
Juror #5: Yes.
Gabriel Grasso: Perfect! Now, out of curiosity, why did you come to Earth?
Juror #5: I was sent here to stop O.J. Simpson from murdering those people. I'm not too late, am I?
Gabriel Grasso: Your Honor!
[ the man seated next to him, with long white hair, turns to face him ]
Juror #6: Hey, Space Dude, you're WAY too late! He did it, like, TEN years ago!
Gabriel Grasso: Hey! I -- I thought you were stranded on a desert island?
Juror #6: I was! But this book washed up on shore. [ he holds up a copy of "If I Did It" ]
O.J. Simpson: [ chuckling ] Hey, man! That's my book: "I Did It"!
Juror #6: [ looks at the cover ] Don't you mean, "IF I Did It"?
O.J. Simpson: Yeahhh, something like that.
Judge Jackie Glass: Alright, Counselor. We're adjourned. We'll try this again tomorrow.
[ she slams her gavel and closes the session ]
[ fade ]
From:
http://snltranscripts.jt.org/08/08boj.phtml
Enjoy!
Saturday, October 4, 2008
Bobby Moynihan - Is a jerk in Awkward Boy
The Most Awkward Boy in the World Takes the Subway.
Director: Nick Paley
Writer: Chris Gethard
Starring:
Zach Woods
Bobby Moynihan
Producer: Weldon Powers
Funny, I would have titled this one, "A jerk picks on a guy."
Enjoy!
Director: Nick Paley
Writer: Chris Gethard
Starring:
Zach Woods
Bobby Moynihan
Producer: Weldon Powers
Funny, I would have titled this one, "A jerk picks on a guy."
Enjoy!
Monday, September 29, 2008
Bobby Moynihan: Is Steven in The New York Times - Transcript
Episode: James Franco / Kings of Leon
The New York Times
Written by: Jim Downey
Peter Connolly, Assignment Editor.....James Franco
Tandalaya.....Kristen Wiig
Steven.....Bobby Moynihan
James.....Kenan Thompson
Queens Gillespie.....Darrell Hammond
Ted Boucher.....Jason Sudeikis
Ari Schenckman.....Andy Samberg
Indian Guy.....??
Karl Marx.....Fred Armisen
Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo.....Casey Wilson
Eric Nyman.....Will Forte
Howland Gwathmey Moss V.....Bill Hader
[ open on exterior, The New York Times, September 8, 2008 ]
Alright, alright, everybody!
[ dissolve to interior office during staff meeting with Peter Connolly, who stands at podium ]
Assignment Editor: I'd like to begin. In case some of us haven't met, I'm Peter Connolly, the assignment editor of the New York Times. Now... you all know why you're here. Yuo are, quite simply, the fifty BEST investigative reporters in journalism today. And with the selection of Governor Sarah Palin, we've got a Vice-Presidential candidate who needs a LOT of investigating!
Tandalaya: [ raising her hand ] I'd like to know if she's ever been a member of a golf club that doesn't admit women... oh, wait, that doesn't make sense.
Assignment Editor: That's quite all right, Tandalaya. [ sees Steven raise his hand ] Uh, yes -- Steven.
Steven: Uhhh -- what about the husband? You KNOW he’s doing those daughters! [ he chuckles ignorantly ] I mean, come on! It’s Alaska!
Assignment Editor: He very well could be. Admittedly, there is no evidence of that, but, on the other hand, there is no convincing evidence to the contrary. And these are just some of the lingering questions about Governor Palin. That's why, in a few days, ALL fifty of you are going to Alaska!
[ the group of reporters clap, except for James, who raises his hand ]
James: Yeah. Do you need me for this? I mean, I'm kind of still working on that sub-prime mortgage piece.
Assignment Editor: James, that piece can wait. Trust me, Lehman Brothers isn't going anywhere! [ he continues ] Now... I know that none of you have ever BEEN to Alaska. In place, most of you have never been ANY place except Manhattan Island, Los Angeles, and Sag Harbor.
Queens Gillespie: I fell asleep on the A train once. Ended up in Queens.
Assignment Editor: Uh, yes. I've heard that story --
Queens Gillespie: That's why everyone here calls me "Queens". "Queens" Gillespie.
Assignment Editor: Indeed. Indeed. Now... if we're gonna operate in alaska, under the radar -- incognito, so to speak -- you'll have to become familiar with its culture and customs. [ acknowledges Ted Boucher at his side ] Now, this is Ted Boucher. In 1988, he spent the summer as a reporter with the Anchorage Daily News. So he knows more about Alaska than ANYONE at the Times has ever HEARD of! Over the next five days, he'll teach you ALL you need to know to pass... as a local! Ted?
Ted Boucher: Thank you, Peter. Why don't we go around the room really quick, and you can all tell me your names.
Ari Schenckman: Ari Schenckman.
Ted Boucher: Mmm-hmm.
Indian Guy: ???
Ted Boucher: Okay.
Karl Marx: Karl Marx.
Ted Boucher: Really? [ he laughs ] Alright.
Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo: Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo.
Ted Boucher: Wow! That's a mouthful! [ he laughs ] In Alaska, I would go with... Vicky D'Angelo.
Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo: [ smugly ] In New York, I would sue you for sexual harrassment.
Assignment Editor: Ah, she's not kidding. She sued me... [ silent whisper ] three times.
Ted Boucher: Okay. Alright, alright, uhhh -- okay, we'll, I'm sure you'll all blend right in! Now, uh, let's talk about the state itself, alright? The first thing you need to know is that Alaska is very, very big. [ Queens Gillespie raises his hand ] Yes?
Queens Gillespie: Bigger than Queens?
Ted Boucher: Yes. It is.
[ everyone murmers ]
Ted Boucher: Yes, the transportation is really important. Now, is there anyone here who canNOT drive a stickshift?
[ everyone raises their hand ]
Ted Boucher: Okay, okay -- alright, alright, that's not a problem -- okay, now does anyone here NOT have a driver's license?
[ everyone raises their hand ]
Ted Boucher: Really? Oh boy, okay! I'm, uh -- I'm curious. How did you all plan on getting around?
[ everyone raises their hand ]
Ted Boucher: 'Cause if it was by taxi... there aren't any.
[ everyone lowers their hand ]
Ted Boucher: Alright, I see. Okay... that makes sense. [ Eric Nyman raises his hand ] Yes?
Eric Nyman: Yeah. I noticed you haven't yet said anything polar bear attacks? Uh, is there a certain time of day when such attacks are most frequent? And, how do ordinary alaskans deal with polar bear attacks in their daily lives?
Ted Boucher: Okay, uh -- well, you don't have to worry about polar bears, they're all the way on the Arctic slope. So the only place you'll see one is the zoo! [ he laughs ] Now, can anyone tell me what this is? [ he holds up a picture of a shotgun, as Victorine raises her hand ] Yes?
Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo: A... revolver?
Ted Boucher: Uh -- no... no.
Ari Schenckman: Uh -- a semi-authomatic assault weapon.
Ted Boucher: No.
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: I believe the precise technical term would be a .357 Magnum -- more commonly, a "zip" gun, or a Derringer!
Ted Boucher: [ incredulous ] No! No, it isn't.
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: [ arrogantly ] Really?
Ted Boucher: [ he nods ] It's a shotgun!
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: I'm not altogether certain that's correct!
Ted Boucher: Yes, it is.
Eric Nyman: Question!
Ted Boucher: Yes?
Eric Nyman: Exactly how secure are Alaskan zoos? Uh, specifically with regard to polar bear escapes? And, does the state of Alaska maintain a special hotline number for this type of situation?
Ted Boucher: Alright, you're NOT going to be attacked by a ploar bear, okay? I mean, you're, uh -- you're more likely to get struck by lightning! [ he laughs ] Yes?
Karl Marx: Yeah. Neither of my therapists allow me to call them at home after midnight. So, because of the four-hour time difference, I'm gonna need a referral for at least TWO local psychiatrists in Alaska -- maybe more.
Ted Boucher: Uh -- uh -- alright, well, that might not be possible. As I understand it, there's only one licensed psychoanalyst in the entire state.
Karl Marx: [ freaking out ] WHAT?!
Ted Boucher: Yeah, I believe that's -- that's the case.
[ Karl Marx hyperventilates ]
Assignment Editor: Everyone! In light of this situation, if there is any reporter here who feels they cannot commit to six weeks in Alaska, I would certainly understand.
[ a great majority of the reporters exit the room ]
Assignment Editor: Uh --
Ted Boucher: Oh, boy...
Assignment Editor: Uh -- uh -- I -- I -- I didn't know.
Ted Boucher: Okay. Alright. Okay. Hey! Uh, who can tell me what this is? [ holds up a picture of a snowmobile ] Anybody know?
Ari Schenckman: Is it some kind of baptizing machine?
Ted Boucher: [ alarmed by this guess ] No! [ he nods to Victorine ]
Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo: Could it... be... a crucifix?
Ted Boucher: Nooo.
Indian Guy: Is it a... semi-automatic assault weapon?
Ted Boucher: No.
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: I believe what we're looking at is a "Nordic Track". Possibly a prototype of an early-generation model, such as the A-5!
Ted Boucher: [ he shakes his head ] No, it's not. It's what's called a SNOWMOBILE! But, in Alaska, it's called a snowmachine.
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: [ he nods thoughtfully ] It's possible. You could be right.
Ted Boucher: [ he crinkles his eyebrows, then nods to Steven ] Yes?
Steven: Uh -- as a person whose gender is currently in transition, I was wondering... wondering if Alaska has any public facilities catering to pre-op transsexuals?
Ted Boucher: Uhhh -- boy, I, uh -- you know, no, I can't say for sure, uhhh -- but, if I had to guess, I would guess that it... does NOT! Okay...
Assignment Editor: Uh -- uh -- and, again: if you, or any other reporter feels this might present an undue hardship, we would, of course, understand.
[ a great majority of the remaining reporters exit the room ]
Ted Boucher: Uhhhh -- that's a shocker.
Assignment Editor: [ as an exiting reporters motions to him ] Uh, no -- no apologies necessary.
[ Eric Nyman raises his hand ]
Ted Boucher: Uhhh -- you have a question?
Eric Nyman: I do.
Ted Boucher: Is it about polar bears?
Eric Nyman: In an indirect way, yes.
Ted Boucher: Go ahead.
Eric Nyman: Let's suppose, for the sake of argument, a polar bear were to make its way from the wild to downtown Anchorage and into my room at the EconoLodge.
Ted Boucher: Hmm... and why would it do this?
Eric Nyman: Well, you know, what if it followed the scent of my Thai delivery food?
Ted Boucher: Okay! Alright! Well, you'll be relieved to know that, in Alaska, there IS no Thai delivery.
[ Ari Schenckman and James look at each other, then casually exit the room, leaving only WIF, Victorine, and BIH ]
Assignment Editor: That is alright. [ to the remaining three ] Okay, uh -- how about you three? Are you still on board?
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: [ as they all nod yes ] We are if you are, Boss!
[ cut to graphic card of Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo: ]
Narrator: [ with SUPER ] Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo successfully sued the town of Denali, Alaska for seventy million dollars, when in the course of her investigation into Governor Palin's childhood membership in 4-H, a local school board member called her "Sweetie."
[ cut to graphic card of Eric Nyman: ]
Narrator: [ with SUPER ] On his second day in Alaska, Eric Nyman was attacked and killed by a polar bear. Moments later, his mangled remains were struck by lightning.
[ cut to graphic card of Howland Gwathmey Moss V: ]
Narrator: [ with SUPER ] In 2009, Howland Gwathmey Moss V was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his Times series on unproven, yet un-disproven incest in the Palin family. Sadly, he was to die 3 months later, run over by a snow machine, driven by a polar bear.
[ dissolve to page from the New York Times, with large headline: "In a Small Alaska Town, Doubts Still Linger", and smaller headline: "While No Direct Evidence of Incest in Palin Family Emerges, Counter Evidence Remains Agonizingly Elusive" ]
[ fade ]
The New York Times
Written by: Jim Downey
Peter Connolly, Assignment Editor.....James Franco
Tandalaya.....Kristen Wiig
Steven.....Bobby Moynihan
James.....Kenan Thompson
Queens Gillespie.....Darrell Hammond
Ted Boucher.....Jason Sudeikis
Ari Schenckman.....Andy Samberg
Indian Guy.....??
Karl Marx.....Fred Armisen
Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo.....Casey Wilson
Eric Nyman.....Will Forte
Howland Gwathmey Moss V.....Bill Hader
[ open on exterior, The New York Times, September 8, 2008 ]
Alright, alright, everybody!
[ dissolve to interior office during staff meeting with Peter Connolly, who stands at podium ]
Assignment Editor: I'd like to begin. In case some of us haven't met, I'm Peter Connolly, the assignment editor of the New York Times. Now... you all know why you're here. Yuo are, quite simply, the fifty BEST investigative reporters in journalism today. And with the selection of Governor Sarah Palin, we've got a Vice-Presidential candidate who needs a LOT of investigating!
Tandalaya: [ raising her hand ] I'd like to know if she's ever been a member of a golf club that doesn't admit women... oh, wait, that doesn't make sense.
Assignment Editor: That's quite all right, Tandalaya. [ sees Steven raise his hand ] Uh, yes -- Steven.
Steven: Uhhh -- what about the husband? You KNOW he’s doing those daughters! [ he chuckles ignorantly ] I mean, come on! It’s Alaska!
Assignment Editor: He very well could be. Admittedly, there is no evidence of that, but, on the other hand, there is no convincing evidence to the contrary. And these are just some of the lingering questions about Governor Palin. That's why, in a few days, ALL fifty of you are going to Alaska!
[ the group of reporters clap, except for James, who raises his hand ]
James: Yeah. Do you need me for this? I mean, I'm kind of still working on that sub-prime mortgage piece.
Assignment Editor: James, that piece can wait. Trust me, Lehman Brothers isn't going anywhere! [ he continues ] Now... I know that none of you have ever BEEN to Alaska. In place, most of you have never been ANY place except Manhattan Island, Los Angeles, and Sag Harbor.
Queens Gillespie: I fell asleep on the A train once. Ended up in Queens.
Assignment Editor: Uh, yes. I've heard that story --
Queens Gillespie: That's why everyone here calls me "Queens". "Queens" Gillespie.
Assignment Editor: Indeed. Indeed. Now... if we're gonna operate in alaska, under the radar -- incognito, so to speak -- you'll have to become familiar with its culture and customs. [ acknowledges Ted Boucher at his side ] Now, this is Ted Boucher. In 1988, he spent the summer as a reporter with the Anchorage Daily News. So he knows more about Alaska than ANYONE at the Times has ever HEARD of! Over the next five days, he'll teach you ALL you need to know to pass... as a local! Ted?
Ted Boucher: Thank you, Peter. Why don't we go around the room really quick, and you can all tell me your names.
Ari Schenckman: Ari Schenckman.
Ted Boucher: Mmm-hmm.
Indian Guy: ???
Ted Boucher: Okay.
Karl Marx: Karl Marx.
Ted Boucher: Really? [ he laughs ] Alright.
Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo: Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo.
Ted Boucher: Wow! That's a mouthful! [ he laughs ] In Alaska, I would go with... Vicky D'Angelo.
Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo: [ smugly ] In New York, I would sue you for sexual harrassment.
Assignment Editor: Ah, she's not kidding. She sued me... [ silent whisper ] three times.
Ted Boucher: Okay. Alright, alright, uhhh -- okay, we'll, I'm sure you'll all blend right in! Now, uh, let's talk about the state itself, alright? The first thing you need to know is that Alaska is very, very big. [ Queens Gillespie raises his hand ] Yes?
Queens Gillespie: Bigger than Queens?
Ted Boucher: Yes. It is.
[ everyone murmers ]
Ted Boucher: Yes, the transportation is really important. Now, is there anyone here who canNOT drive a stickshift?
[ everyone raises their hand ]
Ted Boucher: Okay, okay -- alright, alright, that's not a problem -- okay, now does anyone here NOT have a driver's license?
[ everyone raises their hand ]
Ted Boucher: Really? Oh boy, okay! I'm, uh -- I'm curious. How did you all plan on getting around?
[ everyone raises their hand ]
Ted Boucher: 'Cause if it was by taxi... there aren't any.
[ everyone lowers their hand ]
Ted Boucher: Alright, I see. Okay... that makes sense. [ Eric Nyman raises his hand ] Yes?
Eric Nyman: Yeah. I noticed you haven't yet said anything polar bear attacks? Uh, is there a certain time of day when such attacks are most frequent? And, how do ordinary alaskans deal with polar bear attacks in their daily lives?
Ted Boucher: Okay, uh -- well, you don't have to worry about polar bears, they're all the way on the Arctic slope. So the only place you'll see one is the zoo! [ he laughs ] Now, can anyone tell me what this is? [ he holds up a picture of a shotgun, as Victorine raises her hand ] Yes?
Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo: A... revolver?
Ted Boucher: Uh -- no... no.
Ari Schenckman: Uh -- a semi-authomatic assault weapon.
Ted Boucher: No.
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: I believe the precise technical term would be a .357 Magnum -- more commonly, a "zip" gun, or a Derringer!
Ted Boucher: [ incredulous ] No! No, it isn't.
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: [ arrogantly ] Really?
Ted Boucher: [ he nods ] It's a shotgun!
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: I'm not altogether certain that's correct!
Ted Boucher: Yes, it is.
Eric Nyman: Question!
Ted Boucher: Yes?
Eric Nyman: Exactly how secure are Alaskan zoos? Uh, specifically with regard to polar bear escapes? And, does the state of Alaska maintain a special hotline number for this type of situation?
Ted Boucher: Alright, you're NOT going to be attacked by a ploar bear, okay? I mean, you're, uh -- you're more likely to get struck by lightning! [ he laughs ] Yes?
Karl Marx: Yeah. Neither of my therapists allow me to call them at home after midnight. So, because of the four-hour time difference, I'm gonna need a referral for at least TWO local psychiatrists in Alaska -- maybe more.
Ted Boucher: Uh -- uh -- alright, well, that might not be possible. As I understand it, there's only one licensed psychoanalyst in the entire state.
Karl Marx: [ freaking out ] WHAT?!
Ted Boucher: Yeah, I believe that's -- that's the case.
[ Karl Marx hyperventilates ]
Assignment Editor: Everyone! In light of this situation, if there is any reporter here who feels they cannot commit to six weeks in Alaska, I would certainly understand.
[ a great majority of the reporters exit the room ]
Assignment Editor: Uh --
Ted Boucher: Oh, boy...
Assignment Editor: Uh -- uh -- I -- I -- I didn't know.
Ted Boucher: Okay. Alright. Okay. Hey! Uh, who can tell me what this is? [ holds up a picture of a snowmobile ] Anybody know?
Ari Schenckman: Is it some kind of baptizing machine?
Ted Boucher: [ alarmed by this guess ] No! [ he nods to Victorine ]
Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo: Could it... be... a crucifix?
Ted Boucher: Nooo.
Indian Guy: Is it a... semi-automatic assault weapon?
Ted Boucher: No.
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: I believe what we're looking at is a "Nordic Track". Possibly a prototype of an early-generation model, such as the A-5!
Ted Boucher: [ he shakes his head ] No, it's not. It's what's called a SNOWMOBILE! But, in Alaska, it's called a snowmachine.
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: [ he nods thoughtfully ] It's possible. You could be right.
Ted Boucher: [ he crinkles his eyebrows, then nods to Steven ] Yes?
Steven: Uh -- as a person whose gender is currently in transition, I was wondering... wondering if Alaska has any public facilities catering to pre-op transsexuals?
Ted Boucher: Uhhh -- boy, I, uh -- you know, no, I can't say for sure, uhhh -- but, if I had to guess, I would guess that it... does NOT! Okay...
Assignment Editor: Uh -- uh -- and, again: if you, or any other reporter feels this might present an undue hardship, we would, of course, understand.
[ a great majority of the remaining reporters exit the room ]
Ted Boucher: Uhhhh -- that's a shocker.
Assignment Editor: [ as an exiting reporters motions to him ] Uh, no -- no apologies necessary.
[ Eric Nyman raises his hand ]
Ted Boucher: Uhhh -- you have a question?
Eric Nyman: I do.
Ted Boucher: Is it about polar bears?
Eric Nyman: In an indirect way, yes.
Ted Boucher: Go ahead.
Eric Nyman: Let's suppose, for the sake of argument, a polar bear were to make its way from the wild to downtown Anchorage and into my room at the EconoLodge.
Ted Boucher: Hmm... and why would it do this?
Eric Nyman: Well, you know, what if it followed the scent of my Thai delivery food?
Ted Boucher: Okay! Alright! Well, you'll be relieved to know that, in Alaska, there IS no Thai delivery.
[ Ari Schenckman and James look at each other, then casually exit the room, leaving only WIF, Victorine, and BIH ]
Assignment Editor: That is alright. [ to the remaining three ] Okay, uh -- how about you three? Are you still on board?
Howland Gwathmey Moss V: [ as they all nod yes ] We are if you are, Boss!
[ cut to graphic card of Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo: ]
Narrator: [ with SUPER ] Victorine Kopelman-D'Angelo successfully sued the town of Denali, Alaska for seventy million dollars, when in the course of her investigation into Governor Palin's childhood membership in 4-H, a local school board member called her "Sweetie."
[ cut to graphic card of Eric Nyman: ]
Narrator: [ with SUPER ] On his second day in Alaska, Eric Nyman was attacked and killed by a polar bear. Moments later, his mangled remains were struck by lightning.
[ cut to graphic card of Howland Gwathmey Moss V: ]
Narrator: [ with SUPER ] In 2009, Howland Gwathmey Moss V was awarded the Pulitzer Prize for his Times series on unproven, yet un-disproven incest in the Palin family. Sadly, he was to die 3 months later, run over by a snow machine, driven by a polar bear.
[ dissolve to page from the New York Times, with large headline: "In a Small Alaska Town, Doubts Still Linger", and smaller headline: "While No Direct Evidence of Incest in Palin Family Emerges, Counter Evidence Remains Agonizingly Elusive" ]
[ fade ]
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
Bobby Moynihan - Is Lenny from Of Mice and Men
Of Mice and Men
Summary: In an alternate ending to the classic John Steinbeck story, Lennie (Bobby Moynihan) is outraged to discover that George (James Franco) has been sugarcoating reality in order to protect him.
Bobby pulls out his gay Lenny. This is pretty funny. I love the twist at the end where Lenny all of a sudden starts learning.
In the movie, Of Mice and Men, Lenny was played by John Malkovich. George was played by Gary Senise.
Summary: In an alternate ending to the classic John Steinbeck story, Lennie (Bobby Moynihan) is outraged to discover that George (James Franco) has been sugarcoating reality in order to protect him.
Bobby pulls out his gay Lenny. This is pretty funny. I love the twist at the end where Lenny all of a sudden starts learning.
In the movie, Of Mice and Men, Lenny was played by John Malkovich. George was played by Gary Senise.
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